How to Crave Something that You Never Experienced

This is a topic that always runs through my mind. People's expectations about us may take effect if we do not check on ourselves based on our own goals. Everyone has their own life experience, and based on it they will give other people their pieces of advice and vision about certain life situations.

Guilherme Oliveira

10/26/20236 min read

Past experiences are at least 50% of who we are, as the other half normally tend to be based on the genetics of our parents. It clearly shows that we are all different based on experiences, as each person experiences it differently, as it is perceived based on each person’s experiences.

Past Experiences

Same Experiences 2 Different Views

We think that a specific experience is good or bad, but it depends on the values of each person, let me exemplify with the story of 2 twin brothers (with almost the same genetic code), who may see the same situation from different perspectives, one brother sees the parent's efforts and lessons trying to guide him to win a junior football championship, as an incentive, and uses it to gain power and conquer the goal, and this experience will enhance his life in several different ways for future endeavors, however the second brother, sees the same effort and lessons as an oppression, taking it on negative way, discouraging him to pursue challenges in the future due “oppression” towards a not wanted goal.

People are Different

You can easily see that the same actions brought different results. Were the parents wrong to look for their children in their best ability to do so? No, but we need to understand that each person will read the situation based on who they are, if the efforts are outside their context of life and goals, all efforts may turn very wrong! I always work on myself to define what I want in life and how to self-motivate myself, but I found out some triggers, that help me to keep moving forward. I discovered that I like to move based on gain not on loss. If any perspective is presented that I should move based on loss, I will hate every single minute. And make all possible to get rid of the task (whatever task in any sphere of life) I will be gladly happy when I am done to never look back (or as minimum as possible).

Negative Emotions are Stronger

I need to be very attentive, if some vision triggers my negative perception of the idea, I will close myself instantly. Do not get me wrong, I will take action, I will not hide or procrastinate (too much), but I will hate doing it, taking out any fun from the process. Learning new things is the most important for me, it spikes my creativity and moves me towards uncomfortable things. Very often I take one negative situation (in my current vision) and reverse it using my intended gains of the actions as a motivator, making the entire experience valid.

Easy to Say, Hard to Do

Yep! Unfortunately, there is no magic process for it, you must try to convince yourself. And I am not very good at it, needing special attention and sometimes a few hours or days to make it happen in mind in a positive gains activity. I try to get as many positive incentives to the related goal, change my view, and work towards that goal with an intended direction. But at the end, if fully attended the activity and I did not like it I won't repeat it again. And it is OK! We won't made for everything other people think is good for themselves!

Social Pressure

In our current society, a lot of unnecessary things are viewed as good, and acceptable, and should be a thriving goal for everyone. I will use an example of myself, where I realized that people consider “eating” as having fun. I do the test all the time, I ask people, what do you like to do for fun? They say, what do you like to eat? Then I stop them and say, I said for fun, not to eat, it is when they realize, I just go out to eat, anything more! Eating disorder - Most people have a huge dependence on highly processed and high-sugar foods, to keep their body addiction/emotions in check, In the highly stressful day-to-day life we live, with several stress triggers, using addictive foods is an easy way for it, but won't solve the problem, will only make you less capable to process the issue and solve it.

Healthy Way

My goal is always to be healthy, and realizing that most people do not understand what is being healthy, makes it a challenge sometimes. I see people saying that they are taking care of their diet, and are drinking soda, high-processed food, and sugar, every single day, (keeping in mind that I am using food as an example for being a very tangible example to anyone). The important thing for me are my long-term goals, since relationships, family, finances, and body & mind health-related goals are what I always use to steer my decisions, avoiding short-term pleasures as the main maneuvers of my life.

Investment as Long-Term

Another very common aspect is that people seem not to be very concerned about their financial future, they do talk about but their actions do not follow their mouths, while they say I need to save, next month they have a new leasing of an “unnecessary” new car, leaving their financial security once again behind. Walking the talk is the most important, I never take into consideration financial advice from poor people, because inevitably you will get poor as well. A lot of people are afraid to invest in their first property for example, because every single person in their inner circle of friends does not have one.

Seeing Properties in a Negative Way

People who do not understand the game, think that they will have a big liability, extra work like cutting grass, cutting a tree, repairing damage, etc., seeing it as a burden, not as a good investment. But, they do not consider that it is a stable investment, that always tends to grow in value, even when the market shakes (if bought in the right location) check our post How to make things happen, with some tips to start in the right direction. First, knowing that people who tend to go bad in life do not invest at all, starting to invest in literally whatever thing, will make you walk towards a future success. I am using land as an example because it has been my specialty as a real estate investor since 2017, showing me that during all these years, the market only went up, and surpassed any stock or bank savings!

It will take work

If you are looking for advice about 100% passive investments, I would suggest taking a close and real look at the person who gives you the tips and tricks, to see the time-frame return and if he or she is really wealthy as you wish to be. (be aware of time frame strategies, after taking 50 years to get done!)

Are you ready to walk your talk and see things from a positive perspective?

Let me know where you will put your next goal and how you framed your perspective about it.

[1]: Oliveira, Guilherme. “How to Make Dreams a Reality” Lookforlots blog, 10/19/2023,

[2]: Oliveira, Guilherme. “Proud of Yourself: Strange Ways to Get There” Lookforlots blog, 10/11/2023,
[3]: “MASS PSYCHOSIS: How An Entire Population Becomes Stupid & How To Get Ahead Of Everyone | Dan Ariely” YouTube uploaded by Tom Bilyeu (Oct 31, 2023),