Don’t Let Short-Term Feedback Diminish You

I am always studying how to improve in life, and for that, we can and will walk into an unknown world, which regular people may not even consider walking in. It brings us to the sphere of life that pushes us in different directions. But should we measure ourselves based on people's feedback?

Guilherme Oliveira

10/28/20234 min read

It will be always important as we must have feedback from the real world to understand how to adjust all our goals and actions, but should we use the feedback of people who do not share similar goals? I am not in favor of being in a place where every single person is 100% aligned with you, or you will never see the other side or perspectives of the same problem that you are looking to solve. However, people who are in different areas or timing in their lives, may not be interested in your goals for a simple lack of pure understating or a strong life trigger that will make them take the necessary actions.

People’s Feedback

Unusual Goals

Nowadays unusual goals, meaning, doing something that is not aligned with the majority of the population, and I am not talking about dreaming about, but putting real actions, will bring new feedback to you. I will use as an example someone who is looking to buy an unrestricted/countryside property to have a home and a vegetable garden to pursue a healthier lifestyle. Seems a good goal to pursue, correct? You will find several people saying, I have this dream as well and it is nice!, but when you take the initial steps towards this dream, you start to apply different behaviors, which differ from normal people who normally do not take the necessary steps to achieve their dreams, making you initially look like a “weirdo” as you are not in the same “copy and paste” life routines of everyone else. I love this topic, but few people really care, which for me is a pain, as I see several friends and loved ones, killing themselves through wrong diets and lack of exercise. And I do try to influence them, but there is a limit, they very often lose interest quickly and move on with their lives without taking into consideration how detrimental will it be to their own lives.

Pursuing Your Goal

To pursue different goals, you will need to take new actions and behaviors, For example, if you live around people who are not taking steps towards a healthier life and acquiring their own dream home, it will make you different, as your new necessary behaviors of avoiding unhealthy activities, and stop engaging in activities that won't bring you important knowledge to evolve or help to achieve your dreams starts to become usual, will bring a different look from your loved ones, and they will probably question you if it is worth “sacrificing” old behaviors for your important goal. This will be one of the most important steps, sacrificing old behaviors to achieve new goals is often one of the most difficult tasks, as we start becoming a new person around people who were used to the old us. They may even start engaging against you, saying that you do not live anymore, you are not happy, you are crazy to spend so much time at it, or simply (but not easy) not even taking into consideration how you have advanced in your personal self-development to get there.

That’s Normal

We should not expect people to understand us, and it is simple, simply because people are living their own journey, and in their vision of the world, they are living and taking their necessary actions, regardless of the bad results that they will inevitably get, due lack of vision. We must keep going towards our goals, to make our dreams happen, and perhaps we may one day influence people to a better path in life. I do not believe that we should give up on people?, I personally try to influence people, as much I can towards good goals, but very often they are not tuned to the same goals, which makes it hard, due to their lack of interest, so I always say and point them a little on the right direction every contact that I have with them, trying to create a conscience for them to move to a good way of living, but it is not an easy task!

Making Them See

Sometimes I stop myself and think, about how hard is for an author to become a best seller, it takes years, maybe decades, not only to develop the content but also to learn how to approach and deliver the content in a way that engages people to take action. For me, actions talk very loud in this aspect and normally is what motivates me to move. Getting back to our example, If you are looking to acquire a new home to pursue a healthier lifestyle, you should immerse yourself with content and people who have the same dream, the first step is using the internet to connect with people who have the same dreams, it will motivate you to keep moving forward and the best, learning lessons with their stories.


You May Make a Difference

If you keep moving forward and doing genuinely everything you can, you may find out that people will see you as an example of something that they will look forward to, and then, you will be not only a dream achiever but someone who could contribute with people, with will bring an extra feeling of fulfillment. I believe when we are on our path of growth people will grow with us, but on their own conscience and vision, and I do hope to improve them, as my goals are always towards improving, and improving and growing are important to enjoy life fully. What is your current unusual behavior? And how will it impact your life?

References:
[1]: Oliveira, Guilherme. “How to make things happen” Lookforlots blog, 10/15/2023, https://www.lookforlots.com/how-to-make-things-happen-copy