Put Yourself First - Integrity

YES, that’s exactly what I mean, put yourself first. Does it sound selfish? Let me explain why it is so important and how it may change your life view.

Guilherme Oliveira

10/18/20236 min read

Me First

As human beings, we love people, mostly people that we consider family, and it is not only blood-related family, we tend to love all people in our inner circle, and most of the time we do it unconditionally. The unconditional part is the trigger that may bring the biggest effects in our lives. Taking us to places or actions made by pure love, not through conscious decisions, is not often the best for us and our loved ones.

People We Love

We give them special care, with the best of our capabilities at that moment, however, if compared with unknown people whom we normally treat with skepticism and more caution, we tend to accept their requests more openly. I caught myself several times taking action EVEN on unsolicited requests when I saw their needs and struggles, meaning we try harder to help those we love. Influence is a big deal in this equation as we are naturally more open to our loved ones' vision of the world and influence (and it works both ways).

Influence by Close People

You are probably not aware, but we tend to be more open to close people’s influence, even if we disagree initially, due to the fact that you listen and trust that person and his or her influence will get you, because they tend to behave based on their values and beliefs, impacting you by proximity. We need to be wise and understand that people may differ in opinions and values, but creating a strategy to keep our values first, on the other hand, will influence our loved ones in our direction. As an example, if you have a loved one who loves fast food, which is unhealthy, and you eat whole foods, because it is healthy, you need to watch yourself to not accept their invitations to damage your body and mind with highly processed fast food, following their path of unhealthy life.

Love: Hard to Say No

Continuing the example above, as the main example, why is so hard to say no? Let’s say that the person who is offering unhealthy food is your grandmother, in her 80s, offering fast unhealthy food to you, because in her view of the world, it is a good thing, and from the bottom of her heart she is doing off of pure love for you. Hard to say no, don’t you agree? Now, as much as she loves you, you should love yourself first, and understand that her level of consciousness is on a different level, in this situation accepting her love and saying no to your own love is not always the best route to go.

Love You First

We love them. I got it and precisely because of that, we should love ourselves first. Let me tell you a secret:

“Loving and caring ourselves first will influence our loved ones through our values, which they tend to follow by example” by Guilherme Oliveira based on hundreds of amazing books and life experiences

Being yourself without making options out of love obligation will bring relief, but being clear, I am not saying that you must deny everything that they ask or do if not 100% aligned with you, but we will be more conscious and say no to what really matters to us. In my case, health is at this moment of my life my first pilar, meaning everything goes after, including business, and diet is a very important portion of it, because without health nothing makes sense to me, so I am very restrictive on this portion of life, even to loved one's influences.

Being Yourself Unapologetically

I personally work very strongly on my values, and I do believe that I always aim and correct my path towards a good way of living and being, and not being me, actually may deny my loved ones to grow with me, and based on my own values. It is a clear case that loving yourself first will benefit all your loved ones, without any extra effort from you.

Influence Matters and Integrity

Integrity is the best way to influence others, if people see you doing things every single day, towards your goals and values, you inevitably will achieve some success in this aimed area, at that moment, people will notice how you developed and possibly will try to taste a little of it by themselves.

Do What You Say

I am very careful with this habit because people tend to really believe what I say, even when I am dreaming out loud. This influence is a good contribution to your loved ones when used wisely, as you can help them maneuver the complicated thing that we call LIFE.

Sense of Belonging

I am working on this aspect of my life at this moment, I have lived in 3 different states in the USA since my arrival here in 2017 from Brazil, and it is not an easy task as I do not have rooted memories in this country. After all this time, I noticed that something was always lacking in my life, and I realized that having a place to call my home, was a good way to overcome it.

Sense of Community

You can check this prior post to better understand what I am saying https://lookforlots.com/community-and-fulfillment-we-are-smart-but-not-often-wise. Applying this strategy seemed and seems a very good way to appreciate all the goodness of this special country. Where I put myself (geographically) within a 9 thousand people community in east Texas to submerge myself in a new sense of community.

Making Changes

Moving your family to a healthier environment is the best way to grow and improve them through community influence, (check this post to understand better https://lookforlots.com/community-and-social-impacts-fear-and-dissonance ), relying on your integrity and self-love, helps taking this important decision for them.

Stepping Stone for a Better Life

Putting yourself first is the stepping stone for a better life, and all your actions will reverberate in all people around you, people will trust you to make the right decisions. And one of the most important decisions in a family’s life is their next place to be called home.

Allow Us to Help You

Of all life decisions that you will evolve into, we have specialized in one of the most important, which is finding a good place to live. If you are doing everything right, but still unsure about what to do regarding your next home or land, you can contact us at 346-440-2424 or check our website for options www.lookforlots.com.

P.S.: Choosing the best place for your family is not only important but a demonstration of love.

[1]: Oliveira, Guilherme. “Community and Fulfillment: We are Smart but not often Wise” Lookforlots blog, 10/9/2023, https://lookforlots.com/community-and-fulfillment-we-are-smart-but-not-often-wise.
[2]: Oliveira, Guilherme. “Community and Social Impacts: FEAR and DISSONANCE” Lookforlots blog, 10/10/2023, https://lookforlots.com/community-and-social-impacts-fear-and-dissonance.